My name is Juliet Awang, the founder of New Beginnings.
I realised that whilst I put other people's story on here, I need to tell you my own journey to discover meditation and Mindful living. What it has done for me. What it has done for my family.
My journey is no different to so many other women in the world. I have had to learn lessons I didn't want to, lessons I had no choice but to learn. I have had to overcome things I never thought I could.
I have had to strife through adversity to become the person I am today.
To start at the beginning, and not to go into too much detail through fear of boring you.
I was born into violence (father), bitterness and despondency (mother). I learnt how to fight before I ever learnt what love was. All I remember about my childhood is negative, I am certain there must have been happy times, I just don't remember them. Ingrained in me are memories of being hurt, physically and emotionally. Memories of a family without love.
I fell in love at just seventeen, this was a huge blessing to me. My first taste of love. My first experience of shared happiness. It was beautiful, the memory will always be beautiful to me. I fell pregnant at twenty yrs of age. This was the biggest miracle to happen to me. It gave me the most profound sense of love and happiness. To succeed as a good parent I chose to do the opposite of everything I had learnt as a child.
Life though is full of surprises, it took me and my new family down a path I had no control of. It presented me with issues I didn't and couldn't remove myself from. I had another child but life spiralled for the next 10 years. I had a third child, (my biggest blessing are my children). My relationship broke down and I ended up a single-parent, literally...my partner left us for pastures new. Not his nor my own family supported us financially...no help with bills, food, or clothes, nothing. Instead they sat and watched us financially deteriorate (my brother helped were he could but he wasn't in a position to do much). Things got into such a mess. I was on a low-wage with three children and, I thought, no hope. My house was being repossessed. My teenager was struggling with increased anger over the absence of his father, my two other little ones were too. I was suffering from insomnia. Night after night I would lay awake sad and alone. Stressed and angry. Lack of sleep was destroying me. Everyday I sat on the precipice between being sane and insane. My mind was full and confused. My heart was in pieces. I felt crushed.
So I had to fight the biggest fight of my life.
I needed to alleviate the stress from my mind. I looked and read and searched. Meditation kept coming up, I tried different centres and methods but couldn't get into it. Then I discovered and was taught Transcendental Meditation, a mantra meditation. Things changed. I addressed, took ownership and responsibility for my negative thinking. I learnt what mindfulness is, and I brought it into mine and my children's lives.
My children learnt to meditate. My teenage son found peace from his anger and was able to walk forward in his own life to become the man that he is today.
As for me, I found the peace I was looking for. But I got a lot more than that. All my childhood issues left me. My focus and concentration excelled. My stress walked out on me...and boy was I happy about that. :-)
I don't and won't paint some perfect picture of who I am thanks to mindfulness and meditation. I still shout at my children (they just can't find the washing basket, the sink...i could go on but you get me I'm sure). I still get crappy days, but I know that they pass so I eat chocolate till bedtime..haha!! These crappy days are few and far between. And they come because I am human. But what I don't live with is stress. Insomnia. Anger. Depression. Pain.
What I do live with is compassion. Peace. Love.
All brought on from meditation, and mindful living.
These tools (and that is what they are, tools. Things to help you get on with life.) are the best thing to ever happen to my family. And I knew I had to share that further than just my own family...so I founded "New Beginnings".